jlh | you know, the usual

You can blame this bit of wibbling on it being 1am, or whatever, or on a crisis of confidence caused by some unavoidable external circumstances, but I'm annoyed. And hopefully this isn't wanky. I'm sure that tomorrow after some sleep I'll be back to being happy with my unimportant non-status, bringing things to people who wouldn't otherwise get them, but tonight I'm super cranky.

So I finished reading that idolslash story tonight and I have to say, I was reminded that the real reason I don't read singerslash most of the time is that they are so mean to Ryan and Simon and I admit it makes me sad! Ryan is some sort of pathetic lech who lusts after singers he'll never get a piece of. I mean, I know that Ryan is ridiculous, but the man is not a cretin; he does have his appeal. And then there's Simon, the man you call in to be the big bad, when regular viewers of the show should have realized by now that his criticisms are more nuanced and almost always correct. I mean, the villain in a David Cook story? He loves David Cook! I know that I am a little extreme in my hatred of cliche, but seriously, can we get a little more original, please?

You know, when I got so upset last season about how no one cared that Ryan kissed Simon—I was the only person I knew who posted about it, and there was no mention of it in a reaction thread in someone's LJ that I was reading at the time—I thought, well, this is part of that whole thing where Simon's too old for the fangirls, and so they sort of don't care. Or, they vaguely think Ryan and Simon are doing something anyway, so the kiss wasn't surprising.

But now I'm beginning to think that actually, idolslashers that aren't Rymon types (there isn't much crossover and what there is can mostly be labelled "people who talk to clio") hate Ryan and Simon. They want to see Ryan humiliated by lusting after the singer they're slashing with someone else. They want to see Simon in an AU being completely vanquished by the AU version of their favorite singer, whether that singer ever actually had a problem with Simon or not.

It's really discouraging, because I'm working on this story that, sure, I don't really think more than 10 or so people are going to read, but I really like it, and I was planning on cross posting it of course to the rymon community and here but also to

idolslash but now I'm not so sure. I'd like it to have every chance to be seen by more people, but is larger Idolfandom just so hostile to Ryan and Simon that I shouldn't even bother?

Yesterday

jm_cats commented that he was posting his story at

cakeforever because if it wasn't locked then he'd get harassed, etc. and I said, you know, I have stories up at

idolslash and I've never been harassed by anyone. Is this because the VftW losers also hate Ryan and Simon so much that they don't care or sort of think they're fucking, where they're offended by anyone suggesting that the singers could be? Or is it because they don't care about Ryan and Simon full stop?

I know, this is a whole stupid entry, and it is what it is. I could talk about them til I'm blue in the face, and the only bit of idolslash of mine people are going to read is the cake story. And you know, if it were just, they're younger and hotter, I mean, I thought I'd made my peace with that. But I'm beginning to think that isn't the problem at all.

Is it better to be mysteriously ignored, or to be outright hated? And is it wrong that it makes me sad to see it?