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I totally changed my mind about what I want to say about Avatar. Pardon the slight delay.
( Avatar! )
( So where does this leave me? )
So. As television moves more toward genre, and toward a sort of no-ending continuing drama, it moves further from the kind of narrative that I prefer. And I'm more aware of that now not because of fandom per se--or rather, not because fandom has led me to "over-analyze" television shows. Instead, it's because fandom has let me to write narratives of my own, and in doing that I've become much more aware of what turns me on and what doesn't.
The sad thing is, in coming into HP for the reasons I did (mysteries! coming-of-age!) I've gained friends--wonderful friends!--who pretty much have the opposite narrative priorities that I do. And I've spent a lot of time (because I'm fairly ridiculous, among other reasons) feeling really badly about that, as some of you know. I want to like the same things my friends do! Particularly because so many of my friends speak so disparagingly about the things I like that I don't really try to recommend things to them anymore. I've tried sort of forcing myself to watch a variety of things for the company--Heroes most notably--and looking for little side things that I might like. But I think that the lesson I learned from the spring of 2007 is That Way Lies Madness, or at least, a deep sort of dissatisfaction that I've been struggling with as though it was a personal failing.
But you know, it isn't. I'm not a bad geek girl for not liking science fiction television very much. I'm not a bad geek girl for liking reality television, or sitcoms. I'm not a bad geek girl for liking a well-written romance. My liking established relationships is not actually a sign of emotional immaturity on my part. My dislike of dark angsty stories, and of villains, doesn't mean I'm a wimp. Ideas aren't enough to get me through a story--I have to be emotionally engaged with the characters in some way--but that doesn't mean that I'm an idiot.
And I'm saying these things as a kind of mantra, and as a hope that some of you like these other things too, like Anne's House O'Dreams and How I Met Your Mother and American Idol and 30s romantic comedies and Little Miss Sunshine and will care if I talk about them. I'm tired of feeling like I don't like things; I want to like things! I'm tired of saying to people who are exhorting me to watch a show or read a book that I'd rather not, because that makes me feel sad. I'm tired of people putting down the things that I like to read and watch, because that also makes me feel sad. I'm a positive person and I want to be positive about the things that I like! And I'm going to try much harder to do that moving forward, which means posting about things whether I think anyone else likes them.
But don't worry, Z. I'll watch season two of BSG if it kills me!
( Avatar! )
( So where does this leave me? )
So. As television moves more toward genre, and toward a sort of no-ending continuing drama, it moves further from the kind of narrative that I prefer. And I'm more aware of that now not because of fandom per se--or rather, not because fandom has led me to "over-analyze" television shows. Instead, it's because fandom has let me to write narratives of my own, and in doing that I've become much more aware of what turns me on and what doesn't.
The sad thing is, in coming into HP for the reasons I did (mysteries! coming-of-age!) I've gained friends--wonderful friends!--who pretty much have the opposite narrative priorities that I do. And I've spent a lot of time (because I'm fairly ridiculous, among other reasons) feeling really badly about that, as some of you know. I want to like the same things my friends do! Particularly because so many of my friends speak so disparagingly about the things I like that I don't really try to recommend things to them anymore. I've tried sort of forcing myself to watch a variety of things for the company--Heroes most notably--and looking for little side things that I might like. But I think that the lesson I learned from the spring of 2007 is That Way Lies Madness, or at least, a deep sort of dissatisfaction that I've been struggling with as though it was a personal failing.
But you know, it isn't. I'm not a bad geek girl for not liking science fiction television very much. I'm not a bad geek girl for liking reality television, or sitcoms. I'm not a bad geek girl for liking a well-written romance. My liking established relationships is not actually a sign of emotional immaturity on my part. My dislike of dark angsty stories, and of villains, doesn't mean I'm a wimp. Ideas aren't enough to get me through a story--I have to be emotionally engaged with the characters in some way--but that doesn't mean that I'm an idiot.
And I'm saying these things as a kind of mantra, and as a hope that some of you like these other things too, like Anne's House O'Dreams and How I Met Your Mother and American Idol and 30s romantic comedies and Little Miss Sunshine and will care if I talk about them. I'm tired of feeling like I don't like things; I want to like things! I'm tired of saying to people who are exhorting me to watch a show or read a book that I'd rather not, because that makes me feel sad. I'm tired of people putting down the things that I like to read and watch, because that also makes me feel sad. I'm a positive person and I want to be positive about the things that I like! And I'm going to try much harder to do that moving forward, which means posting about things whether I think anyone else likes them.
But don't worry, Z. I'll watch season two of BSG if it kills me!
