Passing.

[jlh]

My maternal grandmother died Friday night.

The thing is, she was just shy of her 93rd birthday, and she'd outlived two husbands (three if you count my mother's father, whom she divorced but who died some seven or eight years ago). And well, she wasn't very nice. She called me the "n word" on a few occasions when I was a child but was mostly just plain mean and cold to me, she boarded out my mother and my uncle when they were children so she could go out and party, she sold my mother's inheritance because she wanted a new car (so she and my mother haven't really spoken much since 1988), she cheated on my grandfather with the man who was driving him to dialysis three times a week and sat on his lap and such at the open house following Grampy's memorial service. I haven't spoken to her in about five or six years at least.

So, I'm feeling sort of, oddly nothing. Which is really weird. Weirder than even being angry or something.

Meanwhile, I think my cat has an aggression problem. She's started attacking my hands while I type which is highly inconvenient. So when I randomly stop chatting for a bit, that's what's going on. I've started zapping her with the spray bottle after she really clawed me up last night, but we just get into standoffs. Right now she's shut up in the bathroom (with her food and water and a toy) because I just needed a little peace from all the attacking. Like, I can't be attacked every every second, it's too stressful. And yes, I played with her for a good half hour to tire her out, but she's still jumping me. So I'm making an appt with a vet tomorrow morning.

Comments

[eibbil-libbie.livejournal.com]

I can sooooo relate to what you're feeling...or not feeling. I had the same reaction when my father's parents died (within a month of each other). I never cared for either of them as they were so wrapped up in their drinking to notice us much...and grandfather was beyond cruel to everyone. Case in point: when I was five, I remember him tickling me until I wet my pants. Then called my mother from the back of the house. She got very upset that I'd had an accident, but he just sat in his chair chuckling and didn't tell her that he'd caused it. To this day, I am not ticklish at all.

*hugs to you...and don't feel bad if there's nothing in you that needs to grieve. We do that for those that were deserving in life.

Libbie