A lot of this is about what should be as opposed to what actually is, I guess. I would definitely like to think that I do have an internal sense of ethics, but, like you, I constantly question myself. And that's less about ethics that about being the kind of person that does question oneself.
But also: for every issue of ethics there's the x-axis of your opinion and the y-axis of how important you think it is. So on something like, say, child abuse, thinking it's bad is important to me, and I think everyonee else should think similarly. But on the subject of cheese--well, I think it's delicious, but not important, so if other people think it's awful, that doesn't bother me. And different people put things at different places along that axis. For me, the issue of hetfic about out gay figures is occasionally problematic, but I think of it as an issue where everyone is free to suit themselves. Obviously there are people who disagree. But they can't actually change your mind for you any more than you can make them stop trying to shame you for things that, internally, you feel okay about.
Unfortunately, I think what I'm saying is that you just shouldn't let any of this bother you, and I know that that's unhelpful, and that it doesn't really work that way. And that "live and let live" only works if everyone is doing it.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2011-03-09 02:44 pm (UTC)But also: for every issue of ethics there's the x-axis of your opinion and the y-axis of how important you think it is. So on something like, say, child abuse, thinking it's bad is important to me, and I think everyonee else should think similarly. But on the subject of cheese--well, I think it's delicious, but not important, so if other people think it's awful, that doesn't bother me. And different people put things at different places along that axis. For me, the issue of hetfic about out gay figures is occasionally problematic, but I think of it as an issue where everyone is free to suit themselves. Obviously there are people who disagree. But they can't actually change your mind for you any more than you can make them stop trying to shame you for things that, internally, you feel okay about.
Unfortunately, I think what I'm saying is that you just shouldn't let any of this bother you, and I know that that's unhelpful, and that it doesn't really work that way. And that "live and let live" only works if everyone is doing it.