you know, the usual

[jlh]

You can blame this bit of wibbling on it being 1am, or whatever, or on a crisis of confidence caused by some unavoidable external circumstances, but I'm annoyed. And hopefully this isn't wanky. I'm sure that tomorrow after some sleep I'll be back to being happy with my unimportant non-status, bringing things to people who wouldn't otherwise get them, but tonight I'm super cranky.

So I finished reading that idolslash story tonight and I have to say, I was reminded that the real reason I don't read singerslash most of the time is that they are so mean to Ryan and Simon and I admit it makes me sad! Ryan is some sort of pathetic lech who lusts after singers he'll never get a piece of. I mean, I know that Ryan is ridiculous, but the man is not a cretin; he does have his appeal. And then there's Simon, the man you call in to be the big bad, when regular viewers of the show should have realized by now that his criticisms are more nuanced and almost always correct. I mean, the villain in a David Cook story? He loves David Cook! I know that I am a little extreme in my hatred of cliche, but seriously, can we get a little more original, please?

You know, when I got so upset last season about how no one cared that Ryan kissed Simon—I was the only person I knew who posted about it, and there was no mention of it in a reaction thread in someone's LJ that I was reading at the time—I thought, well, this is part of that whole thing where Simon's too old for the fangirls, and so they sort of don't care. Or, they vaguely think Ryan and Simon are doing something anyway, so the kiss wasn't surprising.

But now I'm beginning to think that actually, idolslashers that aren't Rymon types (there isn't much crossover and what there is can mostly be labelled "people who talk to clio") hate Ryan and Simon. They want to see Ryan humiliated by lusting after the singer they're slashing with someone else. They want to see Simon in an AU being completely vanquished by the AU version of their favorite singer, whether that singer ever actually had a problem with Simon or not.

It's really discouraging, because I'm working on this story that, sure, I don't really think more than 10 or so people are going to read, but I really like it, and I was planning on cross posting it of course to the rymon community and here but also to idolslash but now I'm not so sure. I'd like it to have every chance to be seen by more people, but is larger Idolfandom just so hostile to Ryan and Simon that I shouldn't even bother?

Yesterday jm_cats commented that he was posting his story at cakeforever because if it wasn't locked then he'd get harassed, etc. and I said, you know, I have stories up at idolslash and I've never been harassed by anyone. Is this because the VftW losers also hate Ryan and Simon so much that they don't care or sort of think they're fucking, where they're offended by anyone suggesting that the singers could be? Or is it because they don't care about Ryan and Simon full stop?

I know, this is a whole stupid entry, and it is what it is. I could talk about them til I'm blue in the face, and the only bit of idolslash of mine people are going to read is the cake story. And you know, if it were just, they're younger and hotter, I mean, I thought I'd made my peace with that. But I'm beginning to think that isn't the problem at all.

Is it better to be mysteriously ignored, or to be outright hated? And is it wrong that it makes me sad to see it?

Comments

[lillijulianne.livejournal.com]

re the vftw losers, actually that's interesting and i hadn't thought about it. i think there are probably a few things going on there. one is that rymon attract far fewer screaming fans, and having screaming fans is one good way to attract vftw vitriol; the fact that a lot of the more devout fans are hostile or indifferent toward rymon is enough to get them a pass from some. another is that there's that bitter frustrated musician, or whatever, thread weaving through the whole vtfw phenomenon. they hate the talent because they don't think it's talented enough, or that it's selling out/misusing its talent, or that it's getting unfair boosts from being thought hot when it should be about the music, yadda yadda. simon's a businessman and never pretends to be otherwise. ryan they perceive as a whore, but one without artistic pretension. and neither man, unlike cake or cook or daughtry, attracts the women they wish wanted to fuck them.

[jlh.livejournal.com]

The most frustrating thing about the whole youth thing is that I was reading adult books by then. I wasn't so focused only on teenagers. But then, teen media hadn't evolved to the place it is now. And the identification with the singers—I guess that's why there's so much passion behind all the conspiracy theories, while I watch it relatively dispassionately. Well, relative to them.

Ugh, vftw. I was talking to a friend the other night about Ryan not coming out and why and I said, you know, those asshole 20 year old guys don't even count because they consider Ryan to be "as good as gay" now anyway. And the girls that date Ryan and Simon would never date those guys, because they are girls-who-date-powerful-men, not girls-who-fuck-rockers.

Of course when I first read this comment I was still in "woe" and "contrary" moods so it was more like, "woe for Ryan and Simon are not important enough for vftw to be wanky about" though I recognize that's sort of silly. And I didn't realize the weird antipathy to Rymon in Ryan fandom that is alluded to in one of the comments above. I find that strange, but maybe they want to date him or something?

It really shouldn't astound me how much all of this is motivated by sexual attraction or lack thereof; I think that's why I keep landing in weird places, because that's not where my fannishness comes from. When I'm crushing on some famous person, I don't like sharing it—hearing other people say, "yes, he's hot" makes me feel all weird. I'm happier pretending that it's just me, so I never talk about my crushes!