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jlhI decided a while back that I was going to create a personal journal for my RL and make this journal fandom-only. There are few locked posts on this journal since I started my personal one some months back, and those few are nearly all plot posts for my betas. It makes me sad to think that people don't respect the trust that I or someone else have put in them and show a locked post to others, but this is nothing new. Worse things have been done, trust me.
I'm not defriending anyone because of who they have on their friendlist. People are responsible for their own actions and no one else's. If you want to defriend me because I have someone you don't like friended, there's the door.
If I don't like the actions of someone on my friendlist, I will give them the respect of talking to them about it privately. I should not have to prove to any third party that I did this. If I don't like the actions of someone that I know is a friend of a friend, I might talk to that friend about it. But I won't blame them for it.
If I don't like the sort of things someone posts, I defriend them. Occasionally I filter them out if they're on some bender about something I don't care about, but mostly, I defriend. If they are someone that I personally like, then I'll just skip the post. Yeah, it can be irritating, but I'm an adult. I can adapt.
Things I find irritating mostly include talking about your own rpg in your personal journal for any reason other than casting announcements, as I personally feel this is tacky. Also, if you want to contact one person to say one specific thing perhaps you should try email.
I took a few people off of my personal journal because I don't really talk to them that often anymore and I tend to post about very personal things (family drama, doubts, etc). This is my fandom journal and I don't do that here.
However, I am going to be trimming down the flist today, taking off people that I really feel I don't have much in common with and adding a few people here and there, and putting this friending policy on my info page:
Despite the name, friendslist doesn't mean friend. It either means "a journal I like to read" or "a person whom I trust to have access to certain posts". Some of my friendslist is the former, some the latter. Sometimes people go back and forth.
I am not a big joule or friends count checker, so if you've friended me I may well not have noticed. This is leftover from the days when most of the people who friended me were fangirls of one BNF friend of mine or another rather than people who wanted to read my journal or even knew who I was separate from being that BNF's friend.
But I'm beginning to see, nicely, that people are friending me because they want to. If you want to make yourself known, please comment! Let me know who you are and why you've friended me! And no, you absolutely don't have to ask for permission.
I am very slow to friend back, for two reasons: I hate defriending, and I'm shy. I've met most of my friendslist in person and that will likely be the way that I add people from now on, but there are exceptions. That isn't to say, however, that my friending you is like some prize; all it means is that I'm reading your journal.
And that is all I have to say about that.
I'm not defriending anyone because of who they have on their friendlist. People are responsible for their own actions and no one else's. If you want to defriend me because I have someone you don't like friended, there's the door.
If I don't like the actions of someone on my friendlist, I will give them the respect of talking to them about it privately. I should not have to prove to any third party that I did this. If I don't like the actions of someone that I know is a friend of a friend, I might talk to that friend about it. But I won't blame them for it.
If I don't like the sort of things someone posts, I defriend them. Occasionally I filter them out if they're on some bender about something I don't care about, but mostly, I defriend. If they are someone that I personally like, then I'll just skip the post. Yeah, it can be irritating, but I'm an adult. I can adapt.
Things I find irritating mostly include talking about your own rpg in your personal journal for any reason other than casting announcements, as I personally feel this is tacky. Also, if you want to contact one person to say one specific thing perhaps you should try email.
I took a few people off of my personal journal because I don't really talk to them that often anymore and I tend to post about very personal things (family drama, doubts, etc). This is my fandom journal and I don't do that here.
However, I am going to be trimming down the flist today, taking off people that I really feel I don't have much in common with and adding a few people here and there, and putting this friending policy on my info page:
Despite the name, friendslist doesn't mean friend. It either means "a journal I like to read" or "a person whom I trust to have access to certain posts". Some of my friendslist is the former, some the latter. Sometimes people go back and forth.
I am not a big joule or friends count checker, so if you've friended me I may well not have noticed. This is leftover from the days when most of the people who friended me were fangirls of one BNF friend of mine or another rather than people who wanted to read my journal or even knew who I was separate from being that BNF's friend.
But I'm beginning to see, nicely, that people are friending me because they want to. If you want to make yourself known, please comment! Let me know who you are and why you've friended me! And no, you absolutely don't have to ask for permission.
I am very slow to friend back, for two reasons: I hate defriending, and I'm shy. I've met most of my friendslist in person and that will likely be the way that I add people from now on, but there are exceptions. That isn't to say, however, that my friending you is like some prize; all it means is that I'm reading your journal.
And that is all I have to say about that.
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no subject
Date: 2004-12-28 02:35 am (UTC)Dude, yes. I always feel bad when someone friends me & I don't friend them back, but I check out every single person who reads my journal, and if it seems like we don't have much in common, or it seems like I wouldn't enjoy reading their journal much, I just don't friend them. And, I mean, they seem like really nice people, but why should I friend them if there's the significant possibility that our differences will come between us in the future and lead to defriending. I hate defriending -- I think that, to date, I've only defriended one journal that hadn't been deleted, or that itself wasn't going through a big flist downsizing (as those are usually the only two scenarios in which I defriend). And that one time I just had to -- I felt bad because wah, defriending seems mean (it sounds mean! I hate that it's called a "friends list") but I just could not continue reading that person's journal. And I have felt much better since then.
And I know we haven't interacted much in the past -- a few times on y!m, and I've posted a few comments here, and I love your fics of course, but for the record, in the nearly two years that I've had you friended I've never read a post of yours that did not add something to my day. Your posts tend to entertain and provoke thought, and I enjoy them thoroughly. And I friended this journal in the first place for you, not for whoever you're friends with.
Happy New Year in advance, Clio!