I think it comes from the same impulse; I want to make all of my relationships 1:1 and I understand how much people are sort of not interested in social contact they cannot completely control, so I just don't bother to initiate it much anymore. Yours was the fifth or so such post on my flist in the last week or two, so I guess it's a big thing going around. And people often talk about the problems of social obligations. I don't want to be a problem for anyone.
I mean, if you're talking about feeling overwhelmed and burdened by anything then I am going to leave you alone and let you come to me when you are amenable to doing so. I don't think it much matters if it's me doing the burdening or not—if you're overwhelmed then you're overwhelmed and I don't want to add to it. I mean, I know you're doing a lot of boundary defining and I'm trying to pay a lot of attention to all the things that you're mentioning and making sure that I don't do anything like that. If your boundary is at 100 paces, then I want to be at 500, you know? I never want you to feel like you ever have to actually say anything to me.
There's just so little that I can't be flexible about, that it seems selfish to not be as flexible and accommodating to people as possible, which means molding my social wishes around the less flexible social needs of others and in between times sort of turn turtle as I did this evening. So hopefully I'm around when you do decide to contact me!
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branchandroot
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Date: 2011-09-15 03:59 am (UTC)I mean, if you're talking about feeling overwhelmed and burdened by anything then I am going to leave you alone and let you come to me when you are amenable to doing so. I don't think it much matters if it's me doing the burdening or not—if you're overwhelmed then you're overwhelmed and I don't want to add to it. I mean, I know you're doing a lot of boundary defining and I'm trying to pay a lot of attention to all the things that you're mentioning and making sure that I don't do anything like that. If your boundary is at 100 paces, then I want to be at 500, you know? I never want you to feel like you ever have to actually say anything to me.
There's just so little that I can't be flexible about, that it seems selfish to not be as flexible and accommodating to people as possible, which means molding my social wishes around the less flexible social needs of others and in between times sort of turn turtle as I did this evening. So hopefully I'm around when you do decide to contact me!
Have a nice time in Boston!