Tommy Mottola, I knew Sam Phillips. Sam was a friend of mine. Tommy, you're no Sam Phillips.

[jlh]

When is Ryan going to get rid of that fucking three piece suit? How does he know so much about Simon's domestic arrangements in both LA and London? Why did he allow that aerial shot that made him look so weird? And if he thinks his left side is his weaker side (and he's right; on that side his nose looks larger) then why does he keep giving his left side to the camera? He's always turning to look at the monitor to the right, which, sure, means he's probably right-handed but if he were that vain he'd train himself to turn the other way. I like the bit of stubble though.

Simon's hair on the other hand is looking pretty awful. I'd love to know what the hell he was up to that got Ryan giggling with his tongue hanging out of his mouth after Elliott's second song, though.

I want to note, here, that my mother is a huge Elvis fan. We always trim the tree to Elvis's Wonderful World of Christmas, and I've seen every single Elvis movie and can actually tell most of them apart. So you know, I'm not fucking around with this shit.

1. Taylor
   • "Jailhouse Rock." God I hate him. I just fucking completely hate him and his shiny maroon suit and his bullshit.
     
   • "In the Ghetto." See what happens, Taylor, when you just sit down and sing? This is the song I secretly hoped someone would sing because it's so awesomely bad. And Simon was right as usual.
   
   
2. Chris
   • "Suspicious Minds." Awesome. Josh didn't like the shades but I kind of did. Close to my favorite Elvis song, too.
     
   • "A Little Less Conversation." I knew that Chris would hook up with Comeback Special Elvis—this song from '68 and the first one '69. Absolutely the best Elvis era for Chris. He sounded okay but not as powerful as he should have. He needs to take care, because he mostly just sounded tired. Also next time he shouldn't do two songs with the whole walk-with-the-mike-stand. The songs were similar enough; doing the same stagework just felt too same-y.
   
   
3. Elliott
   • "If I Could Dream." I love his very sixties suit. i feel like he was singing on The Corny Collins Show. (Speaking of which, are Corny Collins and Ryan Seacrest switched at birth or what?) He sounded great, too.
     
   • "Trouble." Perfect song! His soul comes from such a bluesy place and oh my GOD he turned it OUT. I was pleasantly surprised that he did so well this week. Still, I voted for him 20 times.
   
   
4. Katharine
   • "Hound Dog/All Shook Up." Too cutesy by far, too dependent on charm and sexiness which is why Simon called her on it, and as usual on this show, badly edited.
     
   • "Can't Help Falling In Love." Oh dear, Katharine. Oh dear. I'm worried you're out. She was just completely off her game for reasons I don't fully understand. Also what the fuck with that weirdo suit?

[Poll #725937]