He represents Texas; she was raised out in Memphis

[jlh]

Now that Ryan has his beard in place (in more ways than one) apparently he can go back to flirting with Simon in that patented seventh-grade manner we know so well. Poor Simon really was showing his jealousy . . . of Teri Hatcher! "Ryan darling, why can't we snog on the public beach in Malibu in front of photographers?" I'm pleased that this was the night that Carrie watched so she could see this for herself. So cute that Simon really wanted to not be booed. See, he really IS a marshmallow. He just puts on the tough.

Could Kenny Rogers be more useless? Could he have had more work done? They didn't give us the names of the songs consistently this week, and as I don't really listen to country there are some I didn't know so I left them out entirely.

1. Taylor. Wrong fucking song. Yawn, yawn, yawn. You know, they used to start this show with a bang and the middling crap would be, well, in the middle, and then the end would be great. What happened with that?
   
2. Mandisa. Oh, man, that was remarkably dull. Why did you pick Shania? Why? WHY?
   
3. Elliott. was really quite good and actually didn't oversing it. I'm pleased.
   
4. Paris. Wow, go Simon. I thought she sounded good, really good, as usual, but she never did make the high note on "survive" because she refused to use her goddamned head voice. Pull it out of your chest, honey. Good song choice though.
   
5. Ace. Well, he was kinda pitchy. He finally picked a good song, but some of it was so flat that it drove me nuts. But I don't think I have to worry about him this week as much as I feared we would.
   
6. Kellie. Okay, I fucking LOVE THIS SONG. And she sounded great. She really has to stay away from the cute and the namby pamby. It does her no favors.
   
7. Chris continues to rule me. He sang something slow and sweet and did a great job.
   
8. Katharine finally said what someone should have said at the start, that Simon doesn't like country music. He never has and he always gets grouchy on country night and it's so dumb because like, dude. It's country night. Deal. Anyway, she was fucking awesome, totally sexy, and I'm sure won't be in the bottom three this week.
   
9. Bucky was surprisingly mediocre, wasn't he? Next week he'd better be gone.

[Poll #704415]

Seriously what the fuck with that McDonald's ad with all the beeps? Also, why the hell were Chris Rock and Whoopi Goldberg there?

Comments

[nmalfoy.livejournal.com]

And what was that crack that Ryan made about a flask? And Desperate Housewives? Little jab at Teri, hm?

[jlh.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure why he kept insisting that they were all trashed, when Paula was having a relatively lucid night. But I can't believe that Simon actually said "Desperate Housewives" and "Lose the beard" in the same sentence. That was hard core.

[nmalfoy.livejournal.com]

It was hard core and I choked on my chicken tortellini.

I rated Paula a 6. That's pretty lucid for her.

Did you catch Kellie's Emma Watson eyebrows when she was singing?

[jlh.livejournal.com]

haha, I totally did.

Dude, I can't believe you voted for Ace. You are too damn funny. Have you actually voted for any of them?

[nmalfoy.livejournal.com]

I surprised myself but I really liked Ace. I can't vote for Kellie because if I do, the baby Jesus will cry and though I'm agnostic I still don't want that karma, know whut I mean, Vern?

Tonight I voted for Mandisa, Ace, Chris, Paris, and Katharine.

I have voted. I vote every show (except for last week, which I missed). I usually vote for Chris, Katharine, Paris and Mandisa. Once in a while I vote for Taylor but that's my evil twin taking over.

[jlh.livejournal.com]

Have you ever performed "Fancy" though? It seems like your kind of song. Love me that Bobbie Gentry.

Tonight I voted for Mandisa, Chris, Katharine and Elliott. I love that I have Cingular so I can just send a bunch of texts.

[nmalfoy.livejournal.com]

I have Cingular too. It's great, being able to just send a text message.

I haven't performed much country, really and the stuff I have done is older (Patsy Cline, early Emmylou Harris, that kind of thing). I do love the song, though, and I hated that it was limited to 2 minutes.

[jlh.livejournal.com]

And they always edit the songs so bizarrely. "My name is Fancy! Woo!" What the shit was that? And especially with the country songs you get like, half the story.

[nmalfoy.livejournal.com]

See, editing country songs... well, in the words of Jon Stewart: "Eh... not so much."

I think the "woo!" was her little tribute to Taylor.

[moony]

The anon is me, sorry. I wasn't signed in for some reason! Rar.

[jlh.livejournal.com]

It's cool. I'm so sorry I forgot to put in "your band sucks" for you. Sorry enough that I've finally made myself a little template in xjournal for my AI entries. I'll reply here so you'll get the email.

So this is what happened: Mandisa had sung and Simon said shit about the song because he actually doesn't like country music (and would do this all night), and then she walked over to where Ryan was sitting because they were going to do one of those little Coca-Cola 'behind the scenes' things where he sits on a stool with one of the contestants and chats. Now, Ryan's whole thing with Simon is that he feels Simon might be honest, but he's not constructive with his criticism. I'm watching it again on the TIVO and here's what was said:

[medium shot of Ryan and Mandisa]
Ryan: So, hey, hey guys? So Simon, you didn't like the song; did you like her singing the song at all? Did you like her singing of the song?

[shot of all three judges at their table]
Simon: No, if you listened, I said I quite liked her, I just wasn't crazy about the song.
Ryan: And if you read the dictionary,

[close up of Ryan]
Ryan: you'd know what constructive means.

[close up of Simon]
Simon: Ryan, Ryan, I'm not the one—
(background, Randy finally paying attention and going, Ahh!)
Simon: Ryan, with respect, I'm not the one trying to look like someone out of Desperate Housewives.

[close up of Ryan]
(Ryan does something between a scowl and a wince as the audience goes "oooh!" He turns from Simon and looks into the camera.)

[close up of Simon, with other judges over his shoulder]
Randy: OH! OH! Don't go there!
Simon: (gestures to chin) Lose the beard!

[close up of Ryan]
Ryan: No, Simon, but you definitely fit the bill . . .

[close up of Simon]
(Simon winks at Ryan)
Ryan: . . . in that baby-blue powder-tight sweat suit, cashmere garb you've got.

And then the camera goes back to Ryan who pulls the show back on the rails and gives Mandisa's numbers.

I thought the resolution for the case on House was sort of a let down but all the Hugh Laurie-Robert Sean Leonard sharing a flat stuff was so awesome I couldn't even deal. (Yeah, I haven't watched in a while.)