Well, the thing is . . .

[jlh]

Chapter 9 of EWFS is up! Hurrah!



I had decided today to try to finish up some smutty fics in honor of that whole ff.net thing. So I put as my custom status on Y!M and AIM: "Writing smut, ping anyway." Rather quickly, I got a ping from Alex.

Alex: Pssst. May I read it?
Clio: the smut?
Alex: *nodnodnod*
Alex: When it's done
Clio: well, I really wanted to get it done for you before you left, but I had to insert a shower scene
Clio: but of course you can.
Clio: actually, I'm rather flattered . . .
Alex: Excellent.

My comment about the shower scene referred to a Seamus/Dean thing I've been working on (which I finished this afternoon, btw). Then I remembered that I had in the can the beginning of a rather long NC-17 H/H/D/G wife-swapping thing, the first scene of which is Harry and Draco. So I sent it, along with the set up scene that precedes it.

What was I thinking?

Okay, now to take a step back. I wandered into the fandom (how and why is really rather boring) back in November, reading first like everyone does, lurking at FA but not posting until the move off EZ boards. In fact, at one point I had read almost everything at Astronomy Tower (which just goes to show you how much things have exploded even in just eleven months). Yes, among many other things I read Snitch! Yes, I was and am an admirer of his writing.

But then I started writing, and fiatincantatum got me code to come here to LJ. Alex friend-ed me not long after (why, I'm still not sure—he couldn't have known me from Adam) and I began to wreak havoc in his LJ, which I still do when the mood strikes. Then, for reasons too complicated to go into, we began chatting, and via chats and his LJ posts I began to think of him less as Al, Tiara-wearing Queen of Harry/Draco and more as Alex, the entertaining wibbler we all know and loff.

So I sent him the two bits of fic. Mind you, they not only haven't been beta-d, they aren't even ready to be beta-d. The only other person who has even read them is eccentricfemme, or maybe also ely709 or thalialuna. But I just sent them along to him, not really thinking about it too much.

And he likes them well enough, though the set up was a bit startling for him, I think, and then we chat about random other things and then he trots off line.

So I was sitting here finishing up the Seamus/Dean, when suddenly it hit me:

I sent a piece of Harry/Draco smut to Alex.
I sent a piece of not-even-close-to-finished smut, in a pairing I do not write but he is a master of, where Harry and Draco are both straight and fucking each other in front of their wives (who are making witty comments in the background), to Alex fucking Malfoy.

My heart dropped into my shoes. I was immediately convinced that I am a t00b of the highest order. I mean, what kind of ridiculous fangirl bullshit is this, to send him something in that state, etc. etc.

AND I'M NOT EVEN HIS FANGIRL! I'M ballyharnon'S FANGIRL!

(though, incidentally, the above didn't keep me from writing a not-quite-ready-for-primetime sequel to a short story she wrote, but that's another story for another time)

Then I got an email from FA saying that Chapter 9 of EWFS is up, and in the process of doing the Chapter Announcements thing and scanning the uploaded text to make sure it looks okay, I remembered that he's just another writer, really, though a shockingly good one, and I calmed down and felt better.

Then, of course, I felt like an even bigger moron for having freaked out in the first place, and decide that the only way to atone for this attack of t00biness is to confess it right here on the LJ.

So there you go, Alex. As you can see, I am totally pathetic. Do what you will with that information.

Comments

[shakespearechic.livejournal.com]

LOL, t00by as this sounds, I can understand and even relate! There's that element of being a fangirl, and then those moments where you seriously doubt your writing abilities when dealing with one of your favorite authors!! Up until this past week I had never written a sex scene period, let alone a slashy NC-17 Draco/Harry romp and who did I send it to for a beta? johnwalton! Right after I clicked "send" I was like, "Oh God, what have I done?!" but in the end it wasn't so bad. We're all writers having fun and improving our craft but we are also all t00bs. And I'm still in the "wreaking havoc" stage of Alex's LJ, but apparently it isn't too obnoxios since I got friended...

[titanic-days.livejournal.com]

You t00b.

I friended you because Seamus' player was t00bing around SCUSA one day and found you squeeing about Nocturne Alley, and you were so complimentary I couldn't not.