Negative reinforcement!

[jlh]

Dear Fandom Friends,

Isn't in interesting the way that if you have an opinion that is thought through but in the end fairly moderate, no one cares, no one comments, no one probably even reads it, but if you constantly post completely crazy screeds full of venom, everyone will comment on your journal and talk about you in theirs?

If I were joining the fandom now, I would be nothing but randomly hateful. It is always rewarded and never punished. People in fact generally think that it is really, really funny and want to be your friend.

In the spirit of attempting to bore everyone reading this a little less (why are you here, since I'm neither wanky nor particularly interesting, and you never comment?) I'm taking down my previous post.

Sincerely,

Clio, who is too nice and too boring to talk to.

Comments

[jlh.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it's not that you are too boring to respond to; perhaps it's that others might have nothing interesting to offer in response.

That seems rather upsetting. I get a lot of that and I'm not sure what to do about it. Am I just so very intimidating? I can't imagine that it's just that my arguments are air-tight; if I were that good I'd be yammering about everything endlessly. Am I that unwelcoming? That makes me rather sad, really, that people don't feel they can make a comment here.

I don't know, I've reached this sort of weird middle, which makes me thrash about a good deal. I go through long periods of having my attitude toward fandom and status and that sort of thing more or less worked out, and then something shifts and I have to do it all over again. Better to be at the top or the bottom, I say. Though, that's probably a fairly uncharitable attitude, but at least you know what to expect.

[misscora.livejournal.com]

I don`t find you intimidating, but I think if I hadn`t met you the way I did (at the very beginning of my fandom stuff) I might have. It`s not so much that you`re arguments are always airtight, but rather they are well thought through and reasonable and in fandom that`s really, really rare. I think the reason the vitrol gets a large response is that it`s easy to have an opinion about - you don`t have to think at all in order to know if you agree or disagree with someone who says `This thing here sucks and anyone who likes it sucks more`. You either do or you don`t. Your posts, on the other hand, have reason in them, and a lot of people are too lazy (I think, becaue I`m a cynic) to try and really think it through.

-loves you-

[wordplay.livejournal.com]

I took a bit to think about this and even as I sat down to respond I didn't really know what I was going to say. I was going to give it a shot anyway because I'm foolhardy like that. :D

And then I started that first sentence, and for some reason it was clear. This isn't about intimidation at all, silly; it's about respect. When you respect someone's thoughts and opinions, you don't just respond with the first thing that comes to mind. You take some time, consider their words, and carefully craft a response. A lot of us check the flist on the fly, so we respond to stupid shit like bacon polls and posts about boots (to pick two of my own recent complete contentless posts) and leave anything that requires real thought for that mythical "later" that we all seem to be living for. And this f_s is so unworthy of respect, and so very easy to pick at - of COURSE he gets high comments, because it's always easy and fun to mock and run. (That should be f_w's slogan, I think.)

And that's what I mean by my fangirling of you, Clio; I hope it didn't make you uncomfortable. Just that I don't know you very well at all (we barely spoke because I was doing my "OMG will be mute and shy now!" routine) but what I have seen is intriguing and likable and inspires respect. And that just has to do with you.

So. That's what I think. I actually don't think this is about fandom status at all, although I may be wrong. Like you, I'm at an age where I have been in and out of a number of different kinds of communities, and so I mostly grok status for what it is and usually see through it. I will admit to having spent more time scratching my head over the whole thing in the last several months since decloaking in the fandom, though. It's an odd thing, and I wish it didn't trouble you. For that matter, I wish it never troubled me, either. :))

(I do get, by the way, that this kind of wibble is probably one of those fleeting varieties, and that by now you are probably largely over it and so I'm rambling on about something that you now feel sort of strange about, but still. RESPECT. And so here I ramble.)

...

I can't believe I'm posting this not behind a filter. *is shy* Post some more so it gets buried really deep, OK? :))