Where's my goddamned Welcome to the Boomtown duet, NIGEL?

[jlh]

I can't believe it's over. :( Last year the finale had a ton of Rymon but after this season I guess I can't really complain. I always start this show about 45 minutes in because it's so full of crap I don't care about. So be prepared for the ff'ing.

That Davids dressed in white staring at each other under the spotlight thing is really just there to get the shippers excited, isn't it? And the crowd reveal—talk about stuff they do every single year.

Ryan's intro about how many votes and paralleling that to actual populations perpetuates the myth that the number of votes has something to do with numbers of people, when of course it doesn't. There's nothing that pisses me off more than when newscasters snarkily compare the number of votes on Idol with the votes in, say, a presidential election. Hello, dumbass, I can't vote for Obama 35 times, nor is it important for him to appeal to the tween demographic.

Randy looks like Captain Kangaroo. Paula looks adorable. Simon looks like he always looks. Ryan is still wearing too much eye makeup, wtf.

Speaking of things they do every year, hometown ampitheater *skips*

Here I have to say: was there even a dress for this? Because the director didn't seem to know where to put the camera in the entire "Get Ready" number. The dancers were completely wasted on the wings of the stage. When the number opened they showed Ryan walking off stage in front of them for some odd reason. When the dancers were center stage, they were mysteriously shot from the pit. And we never saw anyone singing in close up almost at all—rather, we saw medium shots of people who were not singing. wtf? That said, I loved Archie wandering off out of formation at the end of the number.

Why did David Cook come out cold? Was there some kind of mic problem, because I could hear like, the stage manager or someone just before he sang. Anyway, he sounded fucking fantastic and, as Joe R. said on TWOP, Archie ended up mostly just singing backup for him. (God, remember when the Spider Man movies were good?) Brotherly hug!

The only good things about this entire stupid Mike Myers movie promo were (1) Cook's willingness to play along—god, I hope he makes it so he can be on SNL and (2) Ryan cruising around out of control on the cushion. We wished that Jason Castro would randomly cruise by in the background of someone else's number, but alas it was not to be.

Oh SEAL. He's so fantastic, though he did make Syesha look weirdly overdressed, however good she sounded.

OMG JOEL!

Castro sings Hallelujah very nicely. I don't really have a lot to say about it except that it was so nice to see and hear him again, because he's truly excellent, so charming.

Best of the pimpmercials, whatever. Everyone gets a car.

Donna Summer medley! Amanda doesn't want to be there and does a half-assed job on the choreography, convincing all of us that it's really good for everyone concerned that she won't be on the tour. Brooke sounds great, I still don't care about KLC, Carly is amazing and works those black stockings like only she can, and Ramiele announces her unsurprising intention to be a disco diva when she gets into the studio. Then the Davids walk Donna down the stairs (nice touch) but girlfriend is wearing a wig that is truly not ready for television. Once again, dancers, wasted, except for Ryan joining in—which, also again, we didn't see enough of because the cameraman seemed to not realize what he was looking at.

And now we see why Carly was wearing dark stockings earlier—talk about your quick change. It's great to see her and M.Johns, though I would have liked a better song for them.

Bruce Springsteen is, of course, the Byran Adams of America, but would it have killed you people to sing some goddamed "Run to You"? That said, nicely done Bryan using the stubble to hide that bad skin of yours.

Places I don't want to go: The American Idol Experience.

Things that are inexplicable: Cook singing with ZZTop.

Events that are adorable: Brooke living out her Joni Mitchell fantasy by performing with Graham Nash, in her bare feet.

Okay, D Cook's guitar hero add was awesome, though I'd never noticed how long his torso is. *listens to the fangirls scream*

Bands I don't care about: The Jonas Brothers

Someone needs to pass a law that keeps anyone but Fleetwood Mac from using the USC marching band, because I'm like, over it.

Man, One Republic just makes me wish we got us some Chris. And this whole show makes me even angrier that last season we barely saw the other finalists performing in the finale. LAME. Oh, and also, Archie, not so good at singing pop songs.

Jordin who the heck told you to wear that dress? Could it be more unflattering? She sounds great and has the usual magic but what the hell with the cut of that dress? But has there ever been anything more adorable than Blake singing along with her in the audience? Yeah, that would be no.

I'm totally downloading this Gladys Knight video, and this is 100% because of RDJr., who is as always far too cool for school. Everything Jack Black was doing—and I generally like him—was stolen from the SNL skit in which Chris Farley auditions to be a Chippendale dancer against Patrick Swayze. One thing I really like about the video is the reminder of all that AI owes to those fantastic variety shows of the '70s.

People I think are perfectly nice but I don't need to watch: Carrie Underwood.

I feel they should have had Archie do some other famous air guitar movie moment, and not one that was so inappropriate for him. I mean, that bit is 100% about the tighty whites—boxers don't cut it—and it's far too sexual not so much for Archie's age but for his image. Suggestions?

Public Service Announcement: If you watch another JJ Abrams show, you are a moron.

Medley! Adorable moment with Syesha and Ramiele, but you know, Amanda still doesn't want to be there. (Also, mic problems #2.) When "Father Figure" started I admit I was like, hells YEAH but D Hernandez whispering "naked" was one of the awesomest things that has ever happened on this show. Though Cook eye-fucking the camera at the end was pretty awesome too. Also: CHIKEZIE.

And then the man, the plan, George Michael, walks on down those stairs to show us all how it's done. Great ad for himself; now I want to see him on tour!

So when the winner was announced, ali_wildgoose, honestys_easy and I threw up our hands and screamed, alarming not only aethelflaed2 but also the poor cats. But it was epic! I'm so happy for him, truly, and clearly so was Simon—I haven't seen a grin like that on him (that wasn't in reaction to a joke of Ryan's) in a good long time.

And what a lovely last shot: "That's my brother!"

Comments

[boniblithe.livejournal.com]

We wished that Jason Castro would randomly cruise by in the background of someone else's number, but alas it was not to be.

Oh my god. Just the very idea is making me laugh like a loon.

Randy looks like Captain Kangaroo.

YES YES that's what I was trying to figure out!

I'm totally downloading this Gladys Knight video, and this is 100% because of RDJr., who is as always far too cool for school.

Me too, me too.

D Hernandez whispering "naked" was one of the awesomest things that has ever happened on this show

I LOL'ed. Was he always in that kind of shape, or has he been working out?

[jlh.livejournal.com]

D.Hernandez totally was always in that kind of shape, he just danced ridiculously. I wouldn't switch out any of the others, but I do wish he were going out on tour.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Of the whole show, I swear the thing that pleased me the most (besides the obvious, like Cook winning and Brooke getting to sing just what she should be singing, the nod to 70s variety shows, Ryan zooming around the stage on a pillow and a visit from the the guy that Bruce Springsteen is the American version of) was David Cook in that stupid Mike Myers thing. I'd muted it at first because the character looks so painful, but David Cook was great to watch. Especially next to Archie who can't follow what's going on. Cook's line about the contradictory advice having read his book was awesome.

Also Hero could not have been more perfect for D Cook.

Oh, and that's hilarious about Archie being so totally unable to pull off Risky Business and even having to wear boxers given that it's supposed to be danced by a teenager. Maybe Archie's dad needs to go out of town so he can order a hooker.

[jlh.livejournal.com]

Maybe Archie's dad needs to go out of town so he can order a hooker.

That is one of the funniest things you've ever said and certainly goes to prove that there are 17-year-olds, and there are 17-year-olds.

Hero was amazing and I may download it.

Being on SNL is all about being game—the best hosts are—and Cook certainly is that.

Random responses ;)

[annearchy.livejournal.com]

Cook's willingness to play along—god, I hope he makes it so he can be on SNL

Cookie's a theater nerd. He played Riff in West Side Story and Cosmo Brown in Singing in The Rain in high school. IMO he would be effing awesome on SNL. They would be foolish not to book him, at the very least as the musical act. But I think he would be a great guest host too. < / dream>

Was that really the Davids walking Donna down the stairs? It made her look like an invalid. Wig was damn awful.

Things that are inexplicable: Cook singing with ZZTop.

I effing LOVED Cookie singing with ZZTop. They actually let him rock out here. And he's a decent guitar player too. Plus, there's the t-shirt factor. I'm highly partial to his arms:)

Okay, D Cook's guitar hero add was awesome, though I'd never noticed how long his torso is. *listens to the fangirls scream*

I was one of them. Jaysus I must have screamed through the whole thing. Geesh, what dropping 20 lb. and getting a good hairstyle can do for a boy :D I can't suggest a different air guitar sketch for Archie, but yeah, the boxers were so wrong and Archie cannot be doing tighty-whities. Cookie though? That commercial might break YouTube.

Though Cook eye-fucking the camera at the end was pretty awesome too
Damn, I must have missed that :)) The kid was in the room and I couldn't focus quite as well on the patented Cook CFM as I should have :P

DAVID COOK FOR THE G-D M-F WIN!!!

[strawberrytatoo.livejournal.com]

I found it totally hilarious to see Amanda there, just barely going through the motions, heh.

I might have screamed a little, too. ;)

Over all, the most boring finale ever, imo.

[jlh.livejournal.com]

Screams of joy across the land!

Really? I haven't seen all the finales—I didn't watch a lot of season 4—but in terms of things-I-want I thought this one was better than last year, because what I want is to see as much of the top 12 as possible.

Also, your icon FTW—the "it's called my marriage certificate" high-five is possibly my favorite Marshall/Lily moment EVER.

[salemdipity.livejournal.com]

So much to comment on - watched it last night. Loved the Davids in white and agree that Cook was awesome in the Mike Myers sketch.

I found myself getting unexplicably pissed off with Amanda - could she have been more obvious that she didn't want to be there? I'm glad she's not going on tour, she doesn't deserve to after that.

Then the Davids walk Donna down the stairs (nice touch)
I actually thought it was Cook and Michael Johns, because they both looked too tall to be Archuleta and Michael was wearing the same outfit.

I would have loved to hear the boys do 'Run to You'. Wah.

Actually, I quite enjoyed Cook with ZZ Top because they are one of my dad's favourite bands and the first concert I ever went to :-)

Also agree about Jordin's dress - nice colour, horrible cut.

feel they should have had Archie do some other famous air guitar movie moment, and not one that was so inappropriate for him. I mean, that bit is 100% about the tighty whites—boxers don't cut it—and it's far too sexual not so much for Archie's age but for his image. Suggestions?

This was obviously cut from our version because I know not of what you speak!

And what a lovely last shot: "That's my brother!" Agree wholeheartedly!

[jlh.livejournal.com]

I found Amanda's ridiculousness to be sort of funny, but only because she isn't going to be on tour. I mean, Cook can play along, and seriously, three numbers, one night, suck it up.

Was it Johns? I literally could not see who it was and I hadn't thought the boys had changed yet.

Guitar Hero, the video game, ran ads that featured each of them doing the Risky Business dance, and Cook was very hot and Archie just looked odd. You can see them on youtube.

Online now?

[salemdipity.livejournal.com]

It was hard to see who was with Donna Summer, but one of them was really tall and I thought it must have been Johns. Not that it really matters ;)

I shall check Youtube, ta.

I am about to go offline, actually, because I have more housework to do - aome will be here day after tomorrow. But I do want to chat with you soon and I have next week off work, so I'll email you and we'll work something out ♥