Writing, again
Jun. 2nd, 2002 11:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jlhRight, so Chapter 2 of EWFS is up at FA, and now I'm feeling completely stressed. I would say this had something to do with being up until 4am last night chatting with Ely, but I was stressed then, so that isn't it. That does mean that Ray, you won't get ch 2 back until mid week, but I read it! I would think you would want a beta with a few more brain cells than I have at the moment.
And I thought it was because the end of the story isn't done, and I wasn't sure what to do with it, but that isn't true, either. I took a good look at the chapters that haven't been sent to Luna and Ray yet, and while they are half done, they're fine. I had forgotten all the work I did on chapter 10 on the plane back from London last month. And I still have a storyline to wrap up (that being Draco's issues with his housemembers). However, Luna had a good point, being the good Muse/alpha reader that she is, and I'm going to leave poor Ron and Padma alone. Not everyone needs angst. And beta-ing Ray's fic has inspired me to put in some Quidditch stuff—not nearly as extensively as she, but some things about H/H and D/G and dating a captain. And while writing a post on an H/D thread today, I realized I hadn't dealt with Draco's racism at all, so I'll need to put a scene with him and Hermione someplace. Probably, unfortunately, in one of the chapters that I just sent to the betas. Or not, come to think of it--there's a lot of Draco in there, and there's no room for this scene. So, the chapter I'm writing now will have to suffice. Gah! Draco is suddenly taking over the story.
So why the anxiety? I think because it's gotten so real. There are people I don't even know that are reading the story, and like it, and want me to write more. But what if I've taken some horrible bad turn someplace? I know, I know: that's what the Muses are for. And by and large, they have so totally done their job (see above). It could be my standard post-Ray beta freakout. Any friend of mine would tell you I have an annoying habit of thinking that other people are always right and I'm always wrong. I could tell you why that is, but it's a very long story. Ray is such a forceful personality that when I get her betas back, I always feel a bit steamrollered. I want to say, the appearance charm is NOT superficial! It's not about looks! It's so much deeper than that! It's like wearing a wig to a party! ::sigh:: Will the H/H shippers kill me? Yikes.
The fic is good. I am a good writer. The fic is good. I am a good writer. However, I now know why writers drink.
Two random sillinesses, since I haven't posted in a while:
Note: Ely got the same thing.
and:
The first time I took the quiz, I got Snape (?) I changed two borderline answers, and got Harry. Not bad, except I can't imagine Harry is really two answers away from Snape. Also, no one who says they like being "happy" should get paired up with Snape. Content, yes. Happy, no.
and last but definitely NOT least:
I know it isn't very "politically correct" of me, but I really do think this is the funniest thing I have ever read. Particularly as we are hearing that people think we Muses are clique-y. We are, of course, but we can't understand how anyone else knows that! We are not public yet! Of course we are bent on total domination, but we need to make plans first! Sheesh, people!
And to make up for that, my fangirl moment of the day: If you haven't seen the pretty picture![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
vanityfair made, then what are you doing still reading this? Go over there! Go on!
Cheers,
Clio
And I thought it was because the end of the story isn't done, and I wasn't sure what to do with it, but that isn't true, either. I took a good look at the chapters that haven't been sent to Luna and Ray yet, and while they are half done, they're fine. I had forgotten all the work I did on chapter 10 on the plane back from London last month. And I still have a storyline to wrap up (that being Draco's issues with his housemembers). However, Luna had a good point, being the good Muse/alpha reader that she is, and I'm going to leave poor Ron and Padma alone. Not everyone needs angst. And beta-ing Ray's fic has inspired me to put in some Quidditch stuff—not nearly as extensively as she, but some things about H/H and D/G and dating a captain. And while writing a post on an H/D thread today, I realized I hadn't dealt with Draco's racism at all, so I'll need to put a scene with him and Hermione someplace. Probably, unfortunately, in one of the chapters that I just sent to the betas. Or not, come to think of it--there's a lot of Draco in there, and there's no room for this scene. So, the chapter I'm writing now will have to suffice. Gah! Draco is suddenly taking over the story.
So why the anxiety? I think because it's gotten so real. There are people I don't even know that are reading the story, and like it, and want me to write more. But what if I've taken some horrible bad turn someplace? I know, I know: that's what the Muses are for. And by and large, they have so totally done their job (see above). It could be my standard post-Ray beta freakout. Any friend of mine would tell you I have an annoying habit of thinking that other people are always right and I'm always wrong. I could tell you why that is, but it's a very long story. Ray is such a forceful personality that when I get her betas back, I always feel a bit steamrollered. I want to say, the appearance charm is NOT superficial! It's not about looks! It's so much deeper than that! It's like wearing a wig to a party! ::sigh:: Will the H/H shippers kill me? Yikes.
The fic is good. I am a good writer. The fic is good. I am a good writer. However, I now know why writers drink.
Two random sillinesses, since I haven't posted in a while:
What Jelly Belly flavor are you? I'm -
Note: Ely got the same thing.
and:
discover who's your perfekt HP guy here
The first time I took the quiz, I got Snape (?) I changed two borderline answers, and got Harry. Not bad, except I can't imagine Harry is really two answers away from Snape. Also, no one who says they like being "happy" should get paired up with Snape. Content, yes. Happy, no.
and last but definitely NOT least:
You are the Fiction Alley Modz. Ever hard-working, forever maligned, you protest violently that there is no Inner Circle, whilst busily enslaving minions and alienating others on your way to Fandom domination. It never looks like an Inner Circle from the inside, but you're so well-hidden by your Outer Inner Circle, your Quasi-Outer Circle, and your Outer Circle Proper that you wouldn't be able to find our way back to fandom without a trail of rock cakes to lead you there.
I know it isn't very "politically correct" of me, but I really do think this is the funniest thing I have ever read. Particularly as we are hearing that people think we Muses are clique-y. We are, of course, but we can't understand how anyone else knows that! We are not public yet! Of course we are bent on total domination, but we need to make plans first! Sheesh, people!
And to make up for that, my fangirl moment of the day: If you haven't seen the pretty picture
vanityfair made, then what are you doing still reading this? Go over there! Go on!Cheers,
Clio
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Me again - Luna
Date: 2002-06-02 10:16 pm (UTC)Now - for the freaking. As we both know, my sole purpose as 2nd beta is to reassure you on the bits of your stories that are fine (most of it) and don't need changing. I will pat you back into shape after Ray's steam-rollering. Of course, there is that little matter of Ray thinking we are conspiring against her punctuation and plot suggestions... Well, best not go there! *grins* We ARE a clique, after all. *winks*
Trust in that story, girlfrien'! It's a goer!
no subject
Date: 2002-06-03 04:10 am (UTC)*schnoogles*
From Ray
Date: 2002-06-03 02:09 pm (UTC)I suppose the easiest thing to say would be that a bit hurt by your post. In no way am I mad or anything, and I don't really care that you posted about me. It's just . . . I guess I'm hurt that you think that way about me or you think I think that way about you . . .
I compliment you on your fic, Grannie, and I tell you what I like. I leave exensive reviews, and in conversations I do my best to make sure you know exactly what I enjoy in your story. My intent is never to steamroll you. My feelings were also a little hurt by Luna's response. I'm never trying to convince you that anything is *wrong*. I'm here to offer my opinions. ::shrugs::
~Ray
Re: From Ray
Date: 2002-06-03 02:50 pm (UTC)However, hopefully I made it clear in my post that it was more MY issue than an issue I had with YOU--that the trouble was MY tendency to think that others are correct, to capitulate to other's wishes, etc. That I am not always as stong-minded as I'd like to be. And that that tendency creates a big cloud of anxiety that swirls around me all the time.
This isn't to say I don't like criticism; it's more that I haven't figured out how to hold my own yet, in the face of opposing opinions from people that I respect. I wouldn't have that reaction if I didn't think that what you say has merit. But yes, I do feel blown back off my feel for a few days when I get the fic back from you; I assumed that would be obvious from the way that I respond to you via email. I don't think that's bad on your end; I think you are a very through and helpful beta. I think it's my problem. And that's how I framed it in my post. MY anxiety. MY problem.
--jen
Re: From Ray
Date: 2002-06-03 06:30 pm (UTC)I know exactly how you feel about the beta thing, dear, it freaked me out too when I got my chapters back, but then, after a while, you start to feel the control. Over-write the betas, you're allowed. Don't let what they say make you anxious! And really, it's not critizism. Reviews are critizsm. Betas are HELP. All they do is good, and if you don't agree, the writer has the power to say, "No". ::feels powerful::
So what did I do when I felt overpowered? Write your chapter, then beta it yourself, just make yourself say, "Well, I structured that sentence wrong." I ususally have to force myself to reread my work; I *hate* doing that. But after you do, it's all worthwhile. Then send it to the betas, and try to keep an open mind when Ray "steam rolls" you. ::glomps::
Hope that helps
Love
~Lilito