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Am I who I say I am?
Dec. 3rd, 2006 03:08 pmSo due to recent wankiness there's this meme going around about who on your flist you've met, or how you know them, and who could vouch for you. Since in the past two years I've mostly friended people that I've met at some meet up or another, I have met a very high percentage of my flist, which is handy for denying sockpuppet claims. And there are a pile of people on this flist that are very close friends, that would have clarifying or verifying details, or what have you, and I think most of you know who they are.
Now, it would be nice to think that if something were really happening and I had some people to provide some information that this would be enough. But in my experience, if there's someone on LJ who is close enough to you to independently know facts about an incident, and who can provide things such as hospital information, etc, they're also perceived to be close enough to you to lie for you, fake documents, etc. Am I trusted by people who are also friends of my friends to tell the truth about them? Yes. Am I trusted by people who are not friends of my friends to tell the truth about them? Clearly not.
(This, by the way, is why if someone I know is in the middle of a wank, I go silent. 1-If I have a problem with my friend, I feel I owe it to our friendship to take it up with them privately. 2-If I don't, I have too much experience having my reasons for believing them dismissed because I'm "on their side" to think that making some public statement would help anything. 3-Making huge statements, in my experience, prolongs the wank and just brings me more attention, rather than calming things down, which is my own goal. So if you want to know what I think about some incident, you'll have to email me or find me in chat.)
We're in this strange space where the need for substantiation is higher than a lot of the ability to provide it. I can't verify for any of you that I'm in graduate school without giving you my name and my school, which I don't want to do. Someone on my flist goes to the same school, but why would you believe her? Wouldn't she lie for me, if we were all lying sorts?
For example, I was adopted, so even my birth certificate is a fake of sorts. I don't know anyone who was in the room when I was born. Do I know for sure that 23 August is my birthday? Only that I can't imagine that the hospital would lie. When I see folks implying that if you're not googleable you don't exist I start getting very, very nervous. I'm not googleable under my real name. And under that super duper thingum (the name of which escapes me) you can only find out my address. But you can't verify that I worked in the media industry, or what I'm doing now, or where I was born, or who my parents and siblings are, or any of that.
In the end, all we have are our own reasons to trust someone. The times that I have been burned online, I never could have covered myself; that person was lying to me as a friend. Try as you might, if you let people into your life, you will get hurt by them, and that happens on the street, too, not just online.
Now, it would be nice to think that if something were really happening and I had some people to provide some information that this would be enough. But in my experience, if there's someone on LJ who is close enough to you to independently know facts about an incident, and who can provide things such as hospital information, etc, they're also perceived to be close enough to you to lie for you, fake documents, etc. Am I trusted by people who are also friends of my friends to tell the truth about them? Yes. Am I trusted by people who are not friends of my friends to tell the truth about them? Clearly not.
(This, by the way, is why if someone I know is in the middle of a wank, I go silent. 1-If I have a problem with my friend, I feel I owe it to our friendship to take it up with them privately. 2-If I don't, I have too much experience having my reasons for believing them dismissed because I'm "on their side" to think that making some public statement would help anything. 3-Making huge statements, in my experience, prolongs the wank and just brings me more attention, rather than calming things down, which is my own goal. So if you want to know what I think about some incident, you'll have to email me or find me in chat.)
We're in this strange space where the need for substantiation is higher than a lot of the ability to provide it. I can't verify for any of you that I'm in graduate school without giving you my name and my school, which I don't want to do. Someone on my flist goes to the same school, but why would you believe her? Wouldn't she lie for me, if we were all lying sorts?
For example, I was adopted, so even my birth certificate is a fake of sorts. I don't know anyone who was in the room when I was born. Do I know for sure that 23 August is my birthday? Only that I can't imagine that the hospital would lie. When I see folks implying that if you're not googleable you don't exist I start getting very, very nervous. I'm not googleable under my real name. And under that super duper thingum (the name of which escapes me) you can only find out my address. But you can't verify that I worked in the media industry, or what I'm doing now, or where I was born, or who my parents and siblings are, or any of that.
In the end, all we have are our own reasons to trust someone. The times that I have been burned online, I never could have covered myself; that person was lying to me as a friend. Try as you might, if you let people into your life, you will get hurt by them, and that happens on the street, too, not just online.
